****Closed for Renovations*****

I shall return, this blog will be reintroduced after a few minor changes and maybe a shift in the roster.
Peace kids.

Take Control

If you're not down with CTRL.ALT.SHIFT, what are you reading instead?
CTRL.ALT.SHIFT is a UK-based experimental youth initiative which aims to combat disengagement with global issues amongst young people. It is a community for passionate and outspoken individuals who are joined in the fight against injustice and poverty (Wikipedia).
Basically, it's The Youth Of Today giving the inside scoop on the important issues (i'm nearly too old to call myself a youth any more, I dunno if 25 year olds count as part of The Youth Of Today. Maybe i'm the Youth of Yesterday).
Sweet layout to the site, and mad interesting articles from young guns all over the world make for a highly interesting read all round.
I'd highly recommend the current piece on corrective rape in Africa (I never thought the words corrective rape would come up on this blog). I won't lie, the articles pretty heavy, but well worth the read.
Get involved kids.
Peace y'all...

Making a point......

I've been slack on my gig attendance lately. I used to go to heaps of gigs, but i've only been to one or two this year, and they weren't really standouts so i've backed off from the party rocking lately. I did go to Necro, but I don't really remember it, so it doesn't count. I mean, I was in attendance, but there's no way I could tell you how it was. Damn, that was a good friday night though.
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is firstly because next week i'm out to see Dennis Coles aka Tony Starks aka The Ironman aka Sun God aka GHOSTFACE KILLAH, so i'm getting hyped to head out for that.
Secondly, i've been having a discussion with my buddy Jacko about the defining hip hop move, the point. There is no better way to signify, or to garner more crowd response than The Point.
For all you slow mother funkers, let me break it down.
Firstly, if you are a hip hop artist, there is very little you can do on stage, as DJing doesn't really lend itself to Jagger-esque stage moves (although i'd love to see Qbert rocking the naughty schoolboy at his next gig), and if you're a true MC you're much to involved in spitting with the quickness to be leaping all over the stage. That type of shit will leave you out of breath.
So what can a Nilla do to get noticed? You're left with the tried and true option for punctuating your dope verses, The Point.
Here is Ant from Atmosphere highlighting the basic "Point to crowd to punctuate a dope punch line" move, a must for any burgeoning MC who wants people to take him seriously.
Thankyou Slug, nice finger placement and a good strong wrist, that'll have the white boys in the front row nodding in agreement in no time.

Secondly, if you have an exceptionally long line, say the last 4 bars of your verse are one sentence, and you decide that they should be spat in one breath. The only way to highlight your exceptional lung capacity is MC stage move number 2, the "slowly raise hand while spitting and Point to sky on last bar" point.
Brother Ali highlights the importance of extending one finger to further solidify the fact you're pointing at the sky.

Now, these two moves should give you a good feel for basic MC stagecraft, but what if you're in the crowd I hear you ask... what then? Well, since everyone knows that if you are a white male, you have to be gay to dance. Seriously, you cannot be a straight white man, and be able to dance. Sorry, but it's true. So here's the perfect option for you, my 'nilla friend. Just fall back on the tried and true crowd move, The Agreement Point.
Firstly, if anyone (repeat ANYONE) is taking a photo in your general direction, you MUST point at the camera. There is no reason for you not to do this, it MUST be done, and done continually. This shows that you are in control of the situation, and you are in agreement with the photographer when it comes to the question of taking a photo of you.
Example:
Note the white boy front and centre who has decided a little late to do The Agreement Point to camera and has ended up looking a little au fait.


Secondly, the front row is the perfect option for a Point to stage to salute your favourite artist. Again, since I assume most of my audience is made up of white boys, we all know that any self repecting white hip hopper can't be showing too much emotion around other dudes, so instead of screaming like a 12 year old girl, you can just nod your head and give the Agreement Point to whichever artist is currently garnering your approval.
See below for an example of some excellent front row Point and Nod.
Note the single arm reaching out for Z-Trip, as well as the standard 1 finger Point on the far right of the photo.


But don't be too hasty to just throw a Point out willy nilly, if someone catches you in a sloppy Point and Nod you'll have to live with the shame forever.
Poor form buddy, this is a sloppy Point and Nod. You've got the whole thing ass backwards. You're basically poking yourself in the eye there bro. Lift your game.

So there you have it kids, a primer for those who don't know the appropriate way to show respect to a hip hop artist. And please, make sure you Point and Nod to your favourite artists as much as possible, as i've noticed that the Point and Nod is dying out and being replaced by its technological counterpart, the Iphone point.


Cool, but not as respectful.
Peace y'all.

Chillin' out, maxing.....

...relaxing all cool.

Carradine, we hardly knew ye....

So I was going to eulogise (word to the motherfucking thesaurus, bitches) David Carradine when i first heard that he had died, I figured a few Youtube clips of classic Carradine work and a link to his IMDB would do for the man.
Boy, was I wrong.
Now it appears the guy died in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room, possibly while engaging in a little auto erotic asphyxiation (insert INXS/Michael Hutchence gag here).
Now, I could be crass and make a bunch of "choking one off" style jokes, and there's a few in the reserve tank, so don't worry. If things get too serious, we can fall back on that classic vein of humour.
But I want to hit on a different issue for a moment, as i'm sure the breakfast radio shows have me covered for crass humour. I want to point out how rad this death is. Not the death itself, that's a tragic loss of a fantastic character actor. But let's be real, Carradine was old, and there's a lot worse ways to go than in a Bangkok hotel, apparently involved in a sex act, at 72 years of age.
For example, we may very soon be seeing this gravestone...

Again, no disrespect to Swayze, but it's not the best capper to an awesome life. However, something like this......

Is quite fitting in a way.
Carradine, we salute you.

The best of David Carradine (that I could find on Youtube)

David the Bullet Dodger.

...'cos he dodges bullets.


Carradine V Stallone

'nuff said.

Carradine on Superman

He's right, we are weak.

Enjoy kiddies.
Peace

Slow as a wet week....

I know, i've been slack and shit this week. My head is still recovering from last friday, and i've been rewatching The Wire. Guaranteed to keep you distracted. But I promise the long weekend will be filled with cheap goodness.
In the meantime, here's the Reservoir Muppets to keep you entertained.

Peace.

Drunken Texting

If i'm bored, i'll waste time on any number of websites, but one of my favourites is mydrunktexts.com
So in the spirit of that website, here's a sampling of my extremely drunken texts from friday night.
(Luckily, I was out of credit so none of my friends actually received these texts)

03:19am I might call my first album "Eskimo Breast Milk".
03:24am Blank message sent to Tasha' work phone number
03:30am Chilling out dr
(clearly I thought that was enough explanation anyone needed)
03:45am Send a fax like a boss....
(sent to 4 different people)
07:44am Spaced = Greatest comedown show ever.

This is why I don't ususally have credit.

Little green men and human lab rats

There's been a story floating around for a while now, i first picked it up on Crikey but it's been reported in a few places since then about how a SF lawyer has filed suit against the CIA and the US Army on behalf of the Vietnam Veterans of America and six former American soldiers who claim they are survivors of classified government tests conducted at the Army's Edgewood Arsenal in Maryland . These tests, happening between between 1950 and 1975 involved all sorts of chemical mayhem, including but not limited to VX, tabun, soman, sarin, cyanide, LSD, PCP, and World War I-era blister agents like phosgene and mustard.
US Soldier before and after classified tests

This lawyer, Gordon Erspamer, alleges that almost 8000 soldiers were used as lab rats for these unhinged experinments after "Suddenly, they stopped using civilian subjects and said, 'Oh, we can get these military guys for free. The government could do whatever it wanted to them without liability."
Don't get me wrong, this type of shit is not kosher at all, and we here at the Trim in no way support this type of behaviour on anyones part, least of all government agents. There's no way they know how to throw a good party, what are they doing giving away LSD?
However, I want to focus in on one particular piece in this article, about the Vietnam veteran Frank Rochelle.
To summarise, Frank is 20, in the army, and sees a notice for the Edgewood program. it promises "relief from guard duty, the freedom to wear civilian clothes, three-day weekends, and, upon completion, and a medal of commendation". All he had to do was cop some chemicals. Dude signs the secrecy and liability papers, and then proceeds to catch 3 rounds of "nonlethal incapacitating agents like DHMP and glycolate, both of which act as sedatives that produce hallucinations".
Again, couldn't imagine a worse place to be than with government agents while really high. Possibly in jail, but that would be about it.
According to Erspamer's complaint, "Over the next two to three days, Frank was hallucinating and high: he thought he was three feet tall, saw animals on the walls, thought he was being pursued by a 6-foot-tall white rabbit, heard people calling his name, thought that all his freckles were bugs under his skin, and used a razor to try to cut these bugs out. No one from the clinical staff intervened on his behalf".

Now, i'll be honest. I'm no stranger to some of these chemicals myself. I've never touched any WW1 blistering agents, but to quote Jackson, i've had a visionary experience or two in my time. I've never thought my freckles were bugs, but apparently thats par for the course with ice addicts, and I can see how someone would eventually make a connection like that if they were mad high all the time.
Now, i'm betting that Frank was in no way expecting to feel like he was 3 feet tall, or to see a 6 foot tall white rabbit, and that's inherently where the problem is. If Frank had been fully informed prior to taking these crazy chemicals, he probably would have had a great trip. Instead, he ended up with something like this...
"Frank, meet Frank. He'll be stalking you for the next 72 hours..."

Now, if Frank had been allowed to chill in front of the TV with his buddies and watch Bee Movie (trust me, it's the bomb) he would have laughed his arse off and enjoyed the animals coming out of the wall. Instead, he was with some CIA Squaresville chumps, subjecting him to a battery of nasty tests, and ruining his high. who wants to be out of your skull, and have someone taking readings and questioning you? That type of shit would be scary enough if you were totally sober, so i'm not getting at Frank for cracking under the pressure, that can happen to the best of us, and probably would.
My point is simply that all "mind expanding" drugs are totally reliant on your surroundings to define what kind of trip you have, and a government testing facility is no place for a person to trip balls. It just isn't. I
The lesson here, the government still has no idea about why people take drugs, and also, you can't learn about Acid from tests.
Also, anything or anyone that has anything to do with the government will totally blow your high.
Peace

Elementary, my dear Watson.......

I'll watch Robert Downey Jr. in pretty much anything, and this looks dope regardless.
Still 6 months away, but it'll be worth the wait.

More commentary....

As a kid, I was never that interested in sport, and i'm still not. Well, I like Slamball, but there's just not enough network coverage to be a real fan. I just didn't really care, I can watch Football if others want to, but to quote Tony Martin i'm pretty much a sporting dyslexic. I can appreciate the gladiatorial nature of the activity, but I can't really discern between a good player and a bad player at all. All football looks pretty much like the same game being played over and over again.
However, I did kind of want to be a commentator. I loved (and still do) Roy and HG calling pretty much anything, and after many hours of listening to Get This, Rex Hunt is just too funny to hear.
A great commentary can lift sports above a boring show of strength, and a great commentator can be insightful, funny and poignant all at the same time.
Like this guy here.


Dennis Cometti is funny as hell, and pretty much an improv genius. He's been a commentator for almost 40 years, and i'm more than happy to watch a whole game of Football just in case there's some comedy gold slipped in there on the sly.
Here's a collection of some great Cometti improv.

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona"

"A couple of big touches from Clive Waterhouse, who was battling up until about 5 minutes ago, in danger of becoming Clive Waterboy."

Dermott: And the ball spills free to Kickett...
Cometti: Troy Cook you mean?
Dermott: Yes.. well, they do look rather alike.
Cometti: How so Dermott?
Dermott: (realising that sounded rather racist.) Umm, well, they are both..er..
Cometti: .. Midfielders, yes Dermott.

This one from Melb v Coll last year:
Healy: Word is this guy is the most reliable kick for goal in the side. They say down at Collingwood if you had to have someone kicking for your life, Tarkyn Lockyer would be the man
Commetti: I'd prefer my mum
(silence)
Commetti: Not a great footballer, but at least she'd care.

"Ashley McIntosh, like a good hair spray... capable of a subtle hold"

"Barlow to Bateman, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically"

"Carl Steinfort looking more like Robert Walls than Robert Walls"

"Bell bringing the ball out of the back line..... looking for wide runners..... passes to Walker... a contradiction in terms, really"

"The only change to the Eagles side is that Rowan Jones has had a haircut"

"Farmer may have an injury to his calf........ hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem."

Dennis: "Dear shoots... waiting on the goal umpire.... he's kicked a behind. A wry smile there from the goal umpire, certainly a sense of the dramatic."
Don Scott: "He's the danger man, Dennis."
Dennis: "Who? The goal umpire?"

"It's a goal! A dream start for Hawthorn. Spider had both his legs taken out from under him - leaving only the other six to balance on....."

"I love that surname Fixter. Sounds like something from a Batman movie -The Fixter? but I digress..."

Last night when Richmond kicked up the middle towards Ray Hall:"Richmond attack through the corridor, in this case the Hall."

Tony Liberatore had just gone into a pack as he is wont to do and come out with blood gushing from his eye: "Libba went into the pack optimistically and came out misty optically."

I think it was the Freo/Pies game last week and Dennis, after describing the second of 2 easy dropped marks says, "the Tale of Two Sitters".

When Mark went up for a mark: "... and the Mercuri is rising..."

Dermie: "Why do you suppose he went side on to take the mark?"
Dennis: "He probably was trying to impress the Russian judge."

"Richardson contests the ruck.... without much conviction. Well, he may be the best player on their list........ well, certainly Matthew thinks he's the best player on their list at the moment...... mind you, that's a bit like being the best Centre Half Forward in Czechoslovakia....."

"Almost a touch of synchronised swimming about that mark..... minus the peg..."

"Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich."

"If it was a set play, they copied it from a Portugese bus time-table"

"Great stuff by Caracella - moments before McIntosh had treated him like a rent-a- car".


Peace.

A quick commentary...

So a lot of people aren't really interested in special features, they're happy enough to watch the film and move on, which I can understand. When you read, few people even bother to read the authors bio, let alone do any independent research about the topic or whatever, so it's fair enough to just enjoy the film for what it is. But I love special features, in fact I feel ripped off a bit if there aren't any. In particular, I love Directors Commentaries.
Very few people watch as many directors commentaries as I do. I watch Directors Commentaries more than I watch regular films, to me it's far more interesting, and sometimes better than the actual film.
So here's my top directors commentaries. They're not in any particular order, they're just a few nice commentary tracks that jumped to mind. Some are informative, some are funny as hell, and some are both. But they're all worthwhile, so if you happen to own these bad boys then crack them out and give it a shot. I can say with almost certainty you'll enjoy most of them.



This is Spinal Tap

This is probably my fave commentary amongst them all, 'cos it features David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest)and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) riffing for an hour and a half, completely in character, and it's almost funnier than the film itself. Almost.
Notable classic lines:
Nigel: Do you still have that castle David?
David: No, I eventually had to sell it. The buyer demolished it and used the stones for a roadway cul de sac.
Derek: A roadway called De Sack?
Classic.


Cannibal, the Musical

I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone, it's OK, but there's much better fare from the boys behind South Park. But it's worth it if you're 15 years old or reeeaaallly drunk. Or baked. Obviously.
However (again you need to be reeeeaaaaaaallly drunk. Or baked.) the DVD commentary actually improves this film, mainly because the participants are themselves, reeeeaaaalllly drunk. And probably baked.
Funny stuff.


Spaced


Admittedly, you do need the 3 disc special edition to get these commentaries, but if you get a chance to watch Spaced with the commentary, go for the US commentaries. With mad guest spots like Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith and Patton Oswalt, they're well worth putting your ear to, because the only person who can outnerd Simon Pegg on film references is Quentin Tarantino, so you can almost hear the nerd bar being raised throughout the commentary. Plus, they're all pretty funny dudes.


Any Robert Rodriguez Film

All of Rodriguez' films have ace commentaries, full of info about the filmaking process and the cast. I would highly recommend listening to the El Mariachi commentary, to learn how to make a film for under $10,000, or From Dusk till Dawn, which is Rodriguez and Tarantino together. Killer gear.


Ross Noble

Ross Noble can talk for hours and hours about nothing. DVD commentaries were invented for people like him. If you ever get bored with the show, just listen to the commentaries for more non-sequiter crazyness. Just don't fall asleep with the commentary on, as you'll wake up to Ross ranting about angry badgers and automatic Hassidic Jews, and you won't know if you're still asleep or awake.


The Late Show

I could watch the Late Show forever, but I love the commentary that comes with this bad boy as well. Clearly put together by Tony Martin (who has definately seen more Directors Commentaries than I have) this is 6 1/2 hours of the full cast reminiscing and talking shit about the horrible 90's fashion. Well worth it.


Jackass

Any of the commentaries for the Jackass (or indeed, any of the the spin-offs Viva La Bam, Wildboyz etc.) movies and TV shows are worth a listen, but the cast commentary on the first movie is probably the best. Self deprecation all round, and every line from Preston Lacy is gold, pure gold.
Notable funny lines:
Bam: Damn dude, look how fucking fat Phil is.
Preston: He's a medium build.

Well, there's my humble suggestions for the best DVD commentaries, so give them a shot.
You just might learn something, but probably not. At least most of them are good for a laugh.
Peace

Back Once Again....

Yes indeed, Optus finally hooked up my internets, so i'm back with a vengeance.

A kindly gentleman by the name of Mike works on my new apartments insanely old phone connection.

For those new to the blog, there's nothing too revelatory happening over here, i'm just venting on the issues of the day, or attempting to bring obscure gems to light, or just airing my opinion.
Here's a picture book introduction to acheaptrim, as well as the stuff i've been into over the past few weeks.

I like music.

Props to the B-Double and his dad Raymond for the artistical shots of our CDs. Drab, i'mma get at you about getting some stacks on the wall.

I also like movies. Everything from

To

And of course your more artistic fare,

or


My favourite TV shows are

and

and of course


and my favourite book is pretty much anything by


A prize of indeterminate value will go to whoever can tell me who is pictured above.
Peace out for now kids,
Broke.

R.I.P Gramps....

Charles "Bud" Tingwell
03/01/1923 - 15/05/2009

I can't really do justice to the life of this man, so what i'm going to do is link to his own biography and his Wikipedia page, so y'all can read for yourself about this icon of Australian acting.

Among his massively varied career, Bud did everything from Shakespeare to Thunderbirds. His IMDB page lists 146 seperate television and film acting credits, as well as scores of production and writing credits.
By comparison, Christopher Walken (who has acted in at least 3 films or TV shows per year for the last 35 years) only racks up just over 100 credits.
He will be sorely missed. Much respect

IMDB
Wikipedia
Official Website

Hey kids,
I gotta put the blog on pause for a hot second, the computer's getting packed up while i move out to the East Side, but i'll be back soon! Hopefully before this time next month, shouldn't be more than a few weeks.
Keep checking back periodically, as i'll try to post if I get a chance, but if not i'll see y'all on the flip side.
If you're jonesing for some tasty blog action, i'd recommend:
North of the river
The Meaning Of Dope
The Essential Elements
Here's todays minimix from the Empire, featuring beats from around the world.
Enjoy,
Broke.

This ain't funny, so don't you dare laugh....

It's just another case of the Eclectical Empire minimix collection.
This one's comedy based, just a few of my favourite pieces with some sweet instrumentals to back them up.
Enjoy kids.
Grab that mofo right HERE

5 Albums I forgot I owned

So I sometimes forget that I own albums, they get lost in the rotation of my Iriver or I purchase them at the same time as another album which gets more spins, so I forget about some great music that's in my collection. But I just reloaded my whole Iriver with new stuff, and so I ran through my CD's to make sure I didn't miss anything, and came across some gold that I had totally forgot about.
Here's a bit of info on these dope pieces, and then there's a D/L of a selection of tracks from each album for you sampling pleasure.
Enjoy kids!

1. Bombay The Hard Way: Guns, Cars And Sitars
This sweet mash-upesque album features the music of Indian composers Anandji and Kalyanji, who composed and conducted music for the "Brownsploitation" films from 60s and '70s Bollywood.
Every track on this record sounds as though it's straight out of a 70's blaxploitation flick, but with an Indian twist to it like a jammin' sitar lick instead of wah-wah guitar.
This funky joint is the work of Dan The Automator, (Dr. Octagon, Handsome Boy Modeling School) with additional beats credit going to Josh Davis, better know as (say it with me now....) DJ Shadow. Some tracks play to the hip-hop influences of the producers, with the boom and the bap emphasized and laid out over sitar loops, flute solos and heavy string and moog accompaniment. Other tunes on the record hold truer to their original forms, with emphasis on composition and instrumentation.
Super funky, and well worth hunting out.

2. Oh No - Exodus into Unheard Rhythms

Exodus is a production project based on the catalog of Galt MacDermot (most famously known for being the man behind the musical Hair). Eothen Alapatt (Stones Throw General Manager) is the connection between Oh No and the man behind the music from Hair. Dating back to his college radio show at Vanderbilt University, Eothen has made a habit of digging up long-forgotten music legends, and he continues to do so at Stones Throw.
Galt's work has proved familiar sampling ground for Stones Throw's artists since Eothen's arrival at the label. But while the original connection isn't his, Oh No's sheer enthusiasm is the catalyst behind this record.
The original idea was to have Oh No make a couple tracks based on Galt's work. He came back with a couple dozen, and the result was a dope ass album with tight beats and great rhymes from a laundry list of M.C's.

3. Ahmad - Self Titled

An excellent lyricist with a smooth voice and great flow, Ahmad (who was only 18 when he made his debut album) delivers an upbeat, laid-back album with classic 90's beats. I can listen to this album any time, but it's super cool for a warm evening on the porch with a few cold ones. Back in The Day remains a stone cold Hip Hop classic, even 15 years after its release.

4. Ivens - Sounds To Expire To

Melbourne’s Awakenings crew has never made conformist hip-hop. In fact there releases are about as far from the stereotypical Triple J Aussie sound as you can get, and this album is no different.
Ivens has been working hard behind the scenes in Melbourne for some time now. A founding member of the Awakenings crew, he locked himself away for twelve months with production whizkid Plutonic Lab, and Sounds To Expire To is the result.
Each and every time Plutonic Lab steps into a studio he (IMO) excels himself. on Sounds to Expire to, he has orchestrated some bizarre futuristic movie soundtrack, haunting and melodic while also dark and moody. A lot like the first two Aesop Rock albums, with Blockheads minimalist style but a less grimey flavour.
Ivens lyrics are very Aesop-esque as well, with some crazy imagery and clever word play making repeat listens a must.

5. Lewis Parker - Masquerades and Silhoutettes
Lewis Parker is seen as the cream of the crop when it comes to a lot of things. Producer-MC's, British Producers, Sample Based Producers, he pretty much reigns supreme over all these catalogues, and this is (mainly) because of this album. Super short (only 8 tracks) but super dope, it pretty much put Britain on the Hip Hop map, as noone could discount this album as a classic. Atmospheric beats and strangly imaginative lyrics make this an album that will stay on high rotation from now on for me.
Well worth hunting out, if anyone ever sees it on Vinyl buy it immediately and i'll buy it off you the same day.
Well, enjoy the sampler kids, remember to support the artists.
Peace

5 Albums I Forgot About Sampler Download

Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta.....

You know that those German stores stay selling that cheap ass candy.

The Japanese are Coming!

And they've brought their giant fire breathing robot baby with them!!







***NOTE: This giant fire breathing baby is actually the work of sweet ass sculptor Kenji Yanobe. Pics courtesy of Pink Tentacle
Please don't attack any Japanese Exchange students over this, there's a 99% chance that this baby was made as a sculpture, and not for world domination.
But keep an eye out nonetheless.
Peace

Up from the 36 Chambers....

This is possibly even better than the fake Foreigner drummer.
From Afrojacks.com, a typical day at the Wu Tang Office .





Nothing else to add, this is funny enough by itself.
Peace

News Wrap Up

So here's my favourite news story from this week.
Man steals car, claims to be Foreigner Drummer.

I don't think i've come across a funnier news story than this in quite some time.
A homeless dude convinced a woman and a valet that he was the ex-drummer for the band Foreigner, he then proceeded to "borrow" this womans car, and crashed it soon after, before being taken into custody.
Would you claim to be this man?

There's a few genius bits in this article. Firstly, if you were going to claim to be a celebrity, why choose the ex-drummer for Foreigner? It does have kitsch value, but most people would be unimpressed by this claim to fame, plus, foreigner has had a lot of drummers. I'm pretty sure everyone over the age of 40 has been the drummer for Foreigner at one point or another.
Secondly, and this is what really pumps this article to legendary status, is the fact that the guy said his name was Cory James.
Foreigner has never had a drummer named Cory James.
So it seems that this guy had the idea to fake out a woman and steal her car, but couldn't think of one name of an ex-Foreigner drummer, so he just made one up. And it worked! Imagine that conversation...
"Hi, i'm Cory James".
"Hi Cory, what is it you do?"
"I use to be the Drummer for Foreigner"
"Oh wow, a celebrity! Hey bartender, this guy's Cory James"
"Who's Cory James?"
"The drummer for Foreigner"
"Oh..... sweet."
"So, can I borrow your corvette?"
"Yeah sure, I trust the ex-drummer for Foreigner not to steal my car".

Genius.

Strictly for my 'Nilla's...

Here's the 90's Minimix from the last Eclectical Empire show.
BTW, if you're wondering what the hell the title of this post means, since i'm a white boy the word N***a is obviously out of bounds for me, so it's been replaced by the word 'Nilla (short for Vanilla).
I'm trying to bring this replacement word into the everyday lexicon, so use it, love it, and get everyone saying it.
Let's band together Nilla's, we've been stepped on for too long!
Peace

Grab your 90's goodness right HERE.

The hunt continues....

Hey kids,
the posts might be a little light on for the next little while, i'm mad busy looking for a new crib. I'll try to post at least once a week, but no promises.
But fret not y'all, The Trim shall continue to grow to internet domination status, I just need a little while to get shit together.
In the meantime, check Drab Art for some dope new work, and dig through the archives for stuff to keep you interested 'till i'm back on a regular posting schedule.
Peace,
Broke

I'm getting me a flying car!

'nuff said.

If I get locked up tonight.... (Updated)

Then it's been good to know y'all.
Leaked Australian government secret ACMA internet censorship blacklist.
I've made my feelings on this bullshit known. If you missed it, here it is

***Update***
OK, So it's now in question whether this is the actual ACMA blacklist (See HERE for the relevent article) however i'm more inclined to believe wikileaks than Comm's Minister Stephen Conroy (AKA the guy who's running this BS) as to the validity of this info. Even if it's not the actual blacklist itself, it definately came from a government source, and after a quick gander at the pages listed on it, it seems to be the type of gear that would get hit by this filter.
The interesting thing, as mentioned by a few news outlets today, is that there appears to be some sites that are totally undeserving of being listed. To wit, about half of the sites on the list are not related to child porn at all, and include a slew of online poker sites, YouTube links, regular gay and straight porn sites, Wikipedia entries, euthanasia sites, websites of fringe religions such as satanic sites, fetish sites, Christian sites, the website of a tour operator and even a Queensland dentist.

***Update part 2***
The links been re-upped, however if you're still iffy about peeping this gear,
here's a secondary link which is apparently safer.
Secure Wikileaks internet censorship article
Peace

Shark Watch! a.k.a Take a chunk out your body like a shark bit a 'nilla....

This is a new section on The Trim, possibly a one off, as I doubt this type of awesome action will be happening very often.
Sharkwatch involves rad moments with sharks, the most hard body fish in the ocean.
And this week....
MAN WRESTLES 12FT SHARK FOR 2 HOURS TO SAVE MATE.
No BS, this dude went toe to fin with a 12 foot tiger shark for 2 hours to save his buddy from an untimely death. You think you're hard? Craig Clasen is G'd up from the feet up.
I can't do much better than select a few choice quotes from the article.

"Down in my core I really felt the shark was there to feed. I didn't want it to come to that."
"Once I shot it in the gills I felt a moral obligation to finish the job."
"Tiger sharks have no problem eating whole sea turtles, 150lb tuna and even dolphins"
And my personal favourite....
"I shot it six times in the head with a spear and I wasn't having much luck"

Before the animal rights activists jump onto this, it was completely a defensive kill, and I would never support someone going in on a shark for no reason. Except if a shark showed up at the movies. Then i'm fuckin' that shark up.

Kaufman you are not, my friend.

So the Joaquin Phoenix debate took another turn today, with Mr. Phoenix nearly physically attacking a fan at his latest "rap" gig.
But let's take a second to step back from the whole thing and look logically at the situation.
For the uninitiated, about 6 months ago Joaquin announced he was quitting acting to become a rap star, and less-famous-than-his-brother Casey Affleck would be documenting the whole thing. He performed a series of disasterous gigs, repeatedly garbling his way through songs and occasionally falling off stage.

Now after about 3 weeks of this type of shit, people started questioning whether he was for real, or whether this whole thing was one big prank, in the style of Andy Kaufman, or more recently Sascha Baron Cohen.
Add to this a disasterous appearance on Letterman, and everyone was asking the same questions, to wit "Is he high, is he crazy or is he kidding?"

I was skeptical from the start, but this Letterman appearance confirmed it for me, for a few reasons.
Watch Joaquin carefully, many would assume by his attitude and demeanor that he was high, or losing his mind. Not true. Having spent an inexorable amount of time around people in various stages of drug dependance, I can tell you his behaviour is way too calculated for someone on drugs. He is purposefully trying to give off the air of someone nervous and ill-at-ease, but a few minor slips prove his mind is in place. Specifically, when Paul laughs at him, he jumps on the opportunity to push the focus off him onto Paul, and his line "are you serious, with the maniacal laugh?" sounds too controlled, like he's milking the audience for the laugh, not really the actions of an an insane or drug affected mind.
His constant looking down at his fingernails is obviously an affectation, you can see he forgets to do it on occasion, then remembers he's meant to be acting high and goes back to picking at his nails and avoiding eye contact.
Lastly, when Dave is introducing the clip, Joaquins whole act falls when he says "OK, you're doing fine..." This is too coherant a statement for someone who's losing their mind, or exceptionally high. Suddenly, all his behaviour makes no sense. He is flailing wildly between the actions of someone truly fucked up on PCP or crack (acting like he doesn't understand simple questions, ignoring Dave etc.) to someone totally sober (milking the audience for sympathy when Dave disses his music, cracking jokes etc.) It's all too strange for a truly collapsing mind.
Believe it or not, those of us who's minds are falling apart actually behave a lot more predictably than this. Either we're coherant, or we're not. We're either avoiding human contact, or we're doing everything possible to have all attention on us. Joaquin is swinging between these two extremes like a pendulum, showing that he is a lot more in control of his behavior than he would like us to believe.
His ridiculous act was pushed a little further today, with a near-physical altercation at his latest gig, of course caught on camera by Casey.
Joaquin Phoenix attacks crowd member at latest gig
Again, this doesn't seem to be the actions of someone who is out of control. It seems to be the actions of someone who wants to appear crazy, and it would have been very interesting to see what would have happened if security didn't step in. I wonder if things would really have escalated, or whether you would have backed out.

At the end of the day, none of this is really that important, and i'm kind of playing into Phoenix's web by even posting on it. If everyone ignored this behaviour, i'll guarantee the dude would get bored with this charade pretty quick and go back to making (mostly) decent movies.
But it frustrates me to have people saying he is pulling a Kaufman-esque prank. This self-indulgent BS is nowhere near the genius of Andy Kaufman. Joaquin could never come up with pure comedic gold like this.

Andy Kaufman performs Mighty Mouse - watch more funny videos

And Joaquin, here's how you truly fuck with an audience. I have a feeling that you planted the homie you attacked in your audience, just like Kaufman had Jerry Lawler in on the act here.

The main problem with Joaquins act is that he admits that he has someone filming it. Unlike Kaufman, who was a comedy star in his own right and used the air time he gained from that to fuck with people, you have someone apparently filming a documentary about your decline into psychosis. What kind of a friend would stand back and film a man losing his mind and destroying his career? Even Steve-O's mates got to a point where it wasn't funny any more, and they knew their buddy was in trouble, so they slammed him into rehab against his will.
I'm not saying Casey Affleck is the sharpest knife in the drawer, but if this isn't an act, he's a pretty callous dude to let you ruin your career, and possibly your mind, just for a documentary.
Peace out y'all.

Allow me to reintroduce myself... (Re-Upped)

My name is Broke.
This is why.


These are my films, documentaries and TV Shows.


These are my Music DVDs.


This is my music, and music making equipment (Some CD's belonging to the B-Double).



I've been collecting for nigh on 10 years now, and it's my second biggest addiction.
Like i've said before, I don't play.

The Face of Evil

OK, things have been kind of negative over the past few days here on the Trim, but this needs to be broken down for you simple motherfuckers.
The man pictured above is Bernie Madoff. Today Bernie admitted to perpetuating the largest investor fraud ever committed by a single person, pleading guilty to charges that he had defrauded his investors of almost $65 billion.
$65 Billion. Once again, $65 Billion.
Here's how he did it.
Bernie ran a Wall Street firm called Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, which at last check was worth well over $100 billion in liquid assets. This firm has an Assets Management division, responsible for taking peoples money and investing it, then paying dividends on those investments. Who's money was he taking? Try Stephen Spielberg, Elie Wiesal, possibly 50 Cent and definately Sterling Equities (the investment vehicle of the Wilpon family, which owns the New York Mets baseball team) among 4,800 others. That should tell you that the average investor can't just up and decide to give their cash to Madoff, you have to be in the know to get in on the deal. And rightly so, since Bernie's inverstors had been enjoying returns ranging from 15% to 22% for the past 30 years. Surely this is a safe bet, well known firm, big name investors, The Securities and Exchange Commission even gave Madoff's company a clean bill of health in early 2000, there could be no problem here. Right?
Wrong.

The problem was, there was no need for Madoff's company to show how and where these returns were coming from. The way they described their investments was to say "The "New York people" have a system whereby they place a series of instant trades — at once with futures, currencies and stocks — and out of this magic recipe fell a tiny 1% guaranteed, no-risk profit for the group. You do that 20 times a year, take away management fees and, voilà, a steady 15% return" (lifted from Time Magazine, minor changes). Madoff was supposed to have some "black box" model that signaled when to buy and when to sell, making Madoff's investments apparently a sure thing.
In other words, we take your money, buy stocks, wait until those stocks rise by 1% (which when you're buying stocks by the millions happens almost instantly), sell them again and there you have it, a 1% gain. Do this 15 or 20 times a year, and you're golden. No risk 15% returns for all.
Sounds too good to be true. And it was.
What was actually happening was the worlds simplest investment fraud, even more basic than your average Pyramid Selling scheme.
Maddoff was running a Ponzi, a massive, unbelievably stupid Ponzi scheme with no way out, except total and complete bankrupcy for all involved.
A Ponzi scheme is an investment scam that pays returns to investors from their own money or money paid by subsequent investors rather than from any actual profit earned.
To break that down even simpler, lets say I give you $1000 to invest, and you say i'll get a 10% return on that. Then the homie BigDubbs from NOTR (shouts and respect) wants to get in on that good action, so he gives you a G-stack too, and you say the same thing to him.
Now instead of investing that scrilla, you hold the dough and when it comes time to pay our dividends, you use my cash to pay Dubbs his $100 dividend, and use his cash to pay mine.
As you can see, noones actually made any profit, and eventually this bad boy's gonna collapse in on itself. Which is exactly what happened to Madoff and his crew. They used new investors money to pay off massive dividends (we're taking in the millions) to older investors, and they just kept digging themselves deeper and deeper into a financial quagmire.
As it turns out, Madoffs investors hadn't even invested any cash for years. They were just paying people off with other peoples money, until one day about 3 months ago, Madoff just admitted it. He actually told his sons that the Assets Management arm of his company was "one big lie". Remarkably, or possibly in one of the most forsighted moves ever, his sons told the feds. The next day, Madoff went down. Hard.
And the stock market went to shit quick smart, as people realised that their money suddenly wasn't there any more. Their money which only existed in abstentia, now didn't even exist there. It was all gone. All of it.

The amazing thing is, well, actually there's a lot of amazing things about this. The first amazing thing is that this got to be this size without anyone questioning how a company can steadily pay up to 15% dividends, year after year. Hello, SEC...? Isn't it your job to make sure this type of shit doesn't happen?
Secondly, if it wasn't for a $7 billion dividend payment that they couldn't make, then this fraud would have continued until god knows when.
Thirdly, Officials at the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority told The Post that after examining more than 40 years' worth of financial records from Madoff's now-defunct broker dealer, there are no signs that Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities ever traded shares on behalf of the investment-advisory business at the center of the scandal.
Once again, it's possible that THIS MULTI BILLION DOLLAR SHARE-TRADING COMPANY MAY HAVE NEVER EVER TRADED WITH ANYONE.

So there it is kids, hopefully you now understand a little more about how Bernie Madoff ripped off Charities, schools, banks, NFP organisations, not to mention the thousands of individual investors who have now lost everything.
I promise to make the posts a little lighter over the nesxt few weeks, noone likes to focus on the negatives of life, but I think it's important that people understand this junk, as it might one day make you think twice if someone offers you money for nothing.
Because believe me when I say, there is no money for nothing in this life.
Unless you grow weed.
Peace.

I Inhaled so much smoke........

So last nights post got most of the frustration out of my system, it feels good to go in hard on an easy target like Vanilla Ice. To lighten the mood a little, and in celebration of my week of sobriety, I thought i'd post a video or two of some inappropriately high people.
These come to us courtesy of my man B-Double (Pushing buttons like Shadow in the 90's).
First up, the stoned firefighter.


Following that, the stoned reporter (Soldiers as big as Wales.....)


Next up, the cop who stole weed, then called 911 when he chucked a Whitey with his wife.


And finally, the man responsible for transporting more weed than anyone else (When he was finally caught, it was for attempting to bring in 2 Tonnes of weed to Britain)
Howard Marks, A.K.A. Mr. Nice



I'm a little messed up on cold and flu medication at the moment, detoxing from weed and drink has played merry hell with my...... immune system was what I wanted to write here, took me 5 minutes to think of the word.

Yeah, I really can't think straight. I need to go to bed.

Peace out y'all.

You can Ice my nuts you corporate whore....

OK, let me say first off, if Vanilla Ice was legitimately apologising for destroying white people's credibility in Hip Hop (until Em came through and made everyone forget about all that shit), I would salute the guy. Really, I would. I would stand and salute the man if he was really admitting that his music is/was trash, and that he was just in it for a pay check, and that his ghost still haunts white boy rappers to this day, and also that he got hung over a balcony by Suge Knight over "contract issues" (If you haven't heard this story, peep hiphop.sh for the full breakdown. This is the only decent thing Suge has ever done, by the way).
If he was really copping to all that, and genuinely sorry for his corporate whore-dom over the past 20 years, and was trying to gain some credibility back for himself, then i'd finally have some respect for the dude. Some respect.
But if one heads to rightmusicwrongs.com, the first thing you're hit with is a Virgin Mobile advert. Continue a little further, and it takes only a few quick glances at the opening page to realise that THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST ANOTHER MONEY SPINNER.
The Ice Baby isn't sorry for a god-damn thing. In fact, i'll guarantee he's happy as a pig in shit that people still care enough about him to bother getting him to apologise for anything.
This whiny prick will literally do anything to grab the limelight for another few minutes. Literally anything.
Let's consider this for a minute. Vanilla Ice is willing to apologise for his whole career, to a public that doesn't really care any more, just to get a cheque. He literally admits that his whole career is shitful, just to score more money. If he really believed that the world would be better off if he wasn't making music and hogging the limelight, HE'D DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND HAVE A BUCKSHOT SANDWICH RIGHT THIS SECOND.
That's right, I said it. Eat a fucking shotgun you industry prick, i'm tired of these 80's has-beens making a "Comeback", playing on people's love of Kitsch-ness (That's the perfect phrase for this instance, since Kitsch has a dictionary definition of "art that is considered an inferior, tasteless copy of an extant style of art") and thinking that they are in any way still relevant or important.
That's enough for now, i've been detoxing for the past 5 days so i'm a little on edge, but you get my point. Fuck this punk and anyone who feels that his music was anything other than filler for the radio.
BTW, my favourite part of this whole thing is that he apologises for "the scandals and the gangs". Dude, get it through your head, noone thinks you're hard, you can tote a pump-action in front of a drop top caddy all you like, YOU'RE NOT A GANGSTER. Noone even classifies "Ice Ice Baby" as a rap song. It's pop, through and through.
Peace party people, sorry for the vitreole, but I needed to vent. Here's some real Hip Hop to get the bad taste out of your mouth.

I took a blues break.....

....and I Broke it.
Here's minimix 5, i've lost one of these somewhere along the way, and i'll try and re-up it if I can work out which one is missing.
Grab a handful of funk right HERE
Peace,
Broke A.K.A. Baroke Obama.
P.S. This is the 50th post here at the Trim. Happy half-century to all, and cheers to everyone who have stopped in to peep my random musings along the way. I mostly do this for me, as it keeps me busy and relatively sober, but to paraphrase Jigga...
"I do this for my culture,
to let 'em know what a white boy writes like
when the keyboard's out the holster".
Peace

5 Minutes to Midnight.....

Who watches the Watchmen?
I do, that's who.
Fuck the critics, they're always looking for reasons to hate a movie so they don't look like Stans, fuck the punks claiming that no film could do justice to the comic, Watchmen is the best comic book movie of the decade, possibly of all time.
Unlike The Dark Knight, which (let's face it kids) was essentially boosted to cult status by Heath Ledgers performance (BTW, if you haven't seen I'm Not There, the Bob Dylan bio-pic, get it out for 2 reasons. A: It's a killer film with great cinematography and an all round classic cast, but more importantly B: Heath Ledger uses almost the same accent he uses when he's playing The Joker, so if you close your eyes and listen you get a weird feeling that The Joker is a washed up musician arguing with his estranged wife. It's hella funny.)
Anyway, unlike TDK, Watchmen has phenomenal performances from pretty much every cast member, ass kicking action, epic scope with the story switching almost randomly through time periods and planets (Dr. Manhattan's glass palace on Mars is an amazing sequence) and the greatest anti-hero ever, Rorscharch.
It's worth the ticket price just to see Rorscharch tell a prison full of murderers and rapists "None of you seem to understand, I'm not locked in here with you... you're locked in here with me."
I know I sound like a nerdy Watchmen Stan, I don't really care. If you don't go see this film, it's your loss. And a big loss it will be.
Peace.

Hey Mr. Carter..

Tell me where have you been?
Even after all the bullshit, Wayne's still a charismatic motherfucker.



And who knew Weezy played Scrabble....

Witness the Slackness...

Man, my bad people. It's been a while since my last post, been trying to detox and sort out a bunch of shit in my life, so blogging has been a secondary concern for the last little while.
Anyways, here's the catch-up.

This week on The Empire we'll be rocking out with the worlds best lyricists. There's no way we can hit upon every great lyricist in the measy hour we have, but we'll try to cover most genres, and we'll at leat hit the main contenders for greatness.
Speaking of our sweet radio gig, here's part III of the minimix's. This bad boy's pretty rough, as I had major technical issues and had to re-record this about an hour before going to air, but it's still listenable.
Grab that mofo right HERE.

In case you're not as huge a fan of The Daily Show as I am, you probably missed Jon Stewart's epic rant against Rick Santelli and CNBC, so here it is. Gawker also posted this a few days ago, but it's well worth re-posting.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Thirdly, it seems the rest of the world is catching up with myself and BigDubbs (northoftheriver.wordpress.com) and proclaiming The Wire as the greatest thing on television since Wildboyz. OK, most wouldn't compare the two, but I will, 'cos that's how I roll. So if you're not up on it yet, crawl out from under your rock and get busy downloading or buying or whatever, just watch it. I'm sick of explaining the brilliance of this show to slack jawed idiots who can't understand how TV can be revolutionary.

Fourthly, my brother in arms PMM is a busy man, being that he actually studies and has a job and all that, so i'm pretty much holding the fort by myself (damn, two military analogies in one sentence, gotta expand my vocabulary). The point being, if anyone cares to join me here in cyberspace and feels that they could bring something to The Trim, then get at me and i'll add you to the Admin. No need to be exceptionally verbose, judging by the majority of my posts as long as you're semi-literate you'll fit right in.

Fifthly (OK, i'm gonna stop that now, they don't really work after thirdly) I love a good birdman rally. Nothing better than idiots hurling themselves off a pier with a pair of cardboard wings attached. And the shonkier the costume, the better. If it's too well constructed, then the fun is taken out of it. Noone watches a Daytona 500 to see cars driving really fast in a circle, they want to see massive stacks. And the same goes for a Birdman Rally, more failure, more enjoyment. Here's some highlights, courtesy of The Age website.
Birdman Rally Photo Gallery

And finally, I should weigh in on the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle. I should, but I can't really do better than the homeboy here.

Well, i'll be back soonish, probably.
Peace.