Sunday, May 31, 2009

Drunken Texting


If i'm bored, i'll waste time on any number of websites, but one of my favourites is mydrunktexts.com
So in the spirit of that website, here's a sampling of my extremely drunken texts from friday night.
(Luckily, I was out of credit so none of my friends actually received these texts)

03:19am I might call my first album "Eskimo Breast Milk".
03:24am Blank message sent to Tasha' work phone number
03:30am Chilling out dr
(clearly I thought that was enough explanation anyone needed)
03:45am Send a fax like a boss....
(sent to 4 different people)
07:44am Spaced = Greatest comedown show ever.

This is why I don't ususally have credit.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Little green men and human lab rats

There's been a story floating around for a while now, i first picked it up on Crikey but it's been reported in a few places since then about how a SF lawyer has filed suit against the CIA and the US Army on behalf of the Vietnam Veterans of America and six former American soldiers who claim they are survivors of classified government tests conducted at the Army's Edgewood Arsenal in Maryland . These tests, happening between between 1950 and 1975 involved all sorts of chemical mayhem, including but not limited to VX, tabun, soman, sarin, cyanide, LSD, PCP, and World War I-era blister agents like phosgene and mustard.
US Soldier before and after classified tests

This lawyer, Gordon Erspamer, alleges that almost 8000 soldiers were used as lab rats for these unhinged experinments after "Suddenly, they stopped using civilian subjects and said, 'Oh, we can get these military guys for free. The government could do whatever it wanted to them without liability."
Don't get me wrong, this type of shit is not kosher at all, and we here at the Trim in no way support this type of behaviour on anyones part, least of all government agents. There's no way they know how to throw a good party, what are they doing giving away LSD?
However, I want to focus in on one particular piece in this article, about the Vietnam veteran Frank Rochelle.
To summarise, Frank is 20, in the army, and sees a notice for the Edgewood program. it promises "relief from guard duty, the freedom to wear civilian clothes, three-day weekends, and, upon completion, and a medal of commendation". All he had to do was cop some chemicals. Dude signs the secrecy and liability papers, and then proceeds to catch 3 rounds of "nonlethal incapacitating agents like DHMP and glycolate, both of which act as sedatives that produce hallucinations".
Again, couldn't imagine a worse place to be than with government agents while really high. Possibly in jail, but that would be about it.
According to Erspamer's complaint, "Over the next two to three days, Frank was hallucinating and high: he thought he was three feet tall, saw animals on the walls, thought he was being pursued by a 6-foot-tall white rabbit, heard people calling his name, thought that all his freckles were bugs under his skin, and used a razor to try to cut these bugs out. No one from the clinical staff intervened on his behalf".

Now, i'll be honest. I'm no stranger to some of these chemicals myself. I've never touched any WW1 blistering agents, but to quote Jackson, i've had a visionary experience or two in my time. I've never thought my freckles were bugs, but apparently thats par for the course with ice addicts, and I can see how someone would eventually make a connection like that if they were mad high all the time.
Now, i'm betting that Frank was in no way expecting to feel like he was 3 feet tall, or to see a 6 foot tall white rabbit, and that's inherently where the problem is. If Frank had been fully informed prior to taking these crazy chemicals, he probably would have had a great trip. Instead, he ended up with something like this...
"Frank, meet Frank. He'll be stalking you for the next 72 hours..."

Now, if Frank had been allowed to chill in front of the TV with his buddies and watch Bee Movie (trust me, it's the bomb) he would have laughed his arse off and enjoyed the animals coming out of the wall. Instead, he was with some CIA Squaresville chumps, subjecting him to a battery of nasty tests, and ruining his high. who wants to be out of your skull, and have someone taking readings and questioning you? That type of shit would be scary enough if you were totally sober, so i'm not getting at Frank for cracking under the pressure, that can happen to the best of us, and probably would.
My point is simply that all "mind expanding" drugs are totally reliant on your surroundings to define what kind of trip you have, and a government testing facility is no place for a person to trip balls. It just isn't. I
The lesson here, the government still has no idea about why people take drugs, and also, you can't learn about Acid from tests.
Also, anything or anyone that has anything to do with the government will totally blow your high.
Peace

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Elementary, my dear Watson.......



I'll watch Robert Downey Jr. in pretty much anything, and this looks dope regardless.
Still 6 months away, but it'll be worth the wait.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

More commentary....

As a kid, I was never that interested in sport, and i'm still not. Well, I like Slamball, but there's just not enough network coverage to be a real fan. I just didn't really care, I can watch Football if others want to, but to quote Tony Martin i'm pretty much a sporting dyslexic. I can appreciate the gladiatorial nature of the activity, but I can't really discern between a good player and a bad player at all. All football looks pretty much like the same game being played over and over again.
However, I did kind of want to be a commentator. I loved (and still do) Roy and HG calling pretty much anything, and after many hours of listening to Get This, Rex Hunt is just too funny to hear.
A great commentary can lift sports above a boring show of strength, and a great commentator can be insightful, funny and poignant all at the same time.
Like this guy here.


Dennis Cometti is funny as hell, and pretty much an improv genius. He's been a commentator for almost 40 years, and i'm more than happy to watch a whole game of Football just in case there's some comedy gold slipped in there on the sly.
Here's a collection of some great Cometti improv.

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona"

"A couple of big touches from Clive Waterhouse, who was battling up until about 5 minutes ago, in danger of becoming Clive Waterboy."

Dermott: And the ball spills free to Kickett...
Cometti: Troy Cook you mean?
Dermott: Yes.. well, they do look rather alike.
Cometti: How so Dermott?
Dermott: (realising that sounded rather racist.) Umm, well, they are both..er..
Cometti: .. Midfielders, yes Dermott.

This one from Melb v Coll last year:
Healy: Word is this guy is the most reliable kick for goal in the side. They say down at Collingwood if you had to have someone kicking for your life, Tarkyn Lockyer would be the man
Commetti: I'd prefer my mum
(silence)
Commetti: Not a great footballer, but at least she'd care.

"Ashley McIntosh, like a good hair spray... capable of a subtle hold"

"Barlow to Bateman, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically"

"Carl Steinfort looking more like Robert Walls than Robert Walls"

"Bell bringing the ball out of the back line..... looking for wide runners..... passes to Walker... a contradiction in terms, really"

"The only change to the Eagles side is that Rowan Jones has had a haircut"

"Farmer may have an injury to his calf........ hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem."

Dennis: "Dear shoots... waiting on the goal umpire.... he's kicked a behind. A wry smile there from the goal umpire, certainly a sense of the dramatic."
Don Scott: "He's the danger man, Dennis."
Dennis: "Who? The goal umpire?"

"It's a goal! A dream start for Hawthorn. Spider had both his legs taken out from under him - leaving only the other six to balance on....."

"I love that surname Fixter. Sounds like something from a Batman movie -The Fixter? but I digress..."

Last night when Richmond kicked up the middle towards Ray Hall:"Richmond attack through the corridor, in this case the Hall."

Tony Liberatore had just gone into a pack as he is wont to do and come out with blood gushing from his eye: "Libba went into the pack optimistically and came out misty optically."

I think it was the Freo/Pies game last week and Dennis, after describing the second of 2 easy dropped marks says, "the Tale of Two Sitters".

When Mark went up for a mark: "... and the Mercuri is rising..."

Dermie: "Why do you suppose he went side on to take the mark?"
Dennis: "He probably was trying to impress the Russian judge."

"Richardson contests the ruck.... without much conviction. Well, he may be the best player on their list........ well, certainly Matthew thinks he's the best player on their list at the moment...... mind you, that's a bit like being the best Centre Half Forward in Czechoslovakia....."

"Almost a touch of synchronised swimming about that mark..... minus the peg..."

"Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich."

"If it was a set play, they copied it from a Portugese bus time-table"

"Great stuff by Caracella - moments before McIntosh had treated him like a rent-a- car".


Peace.

Friday, May 22, 2009

A quick commentary...

So a lot of people aren't really interested in special features, they're happy enough to watch the film and move on, which I can understand. When you read, few people even bother to read the authors bio, let alone do any independent research about the topic or whatever, so it's fair enough to just enjoy the film for what it is. But I love special features, in fact I feel ripped off a bit if there aren't any. In particular, I love Directors Commentaries.
Very few people watch as many directors commentaries as I do. I watch Directors Commentaries more than I watch regular films, to me it's far more interesting, and sometimes better than the actual film.
So here's my top directors commentaries. They're not in any particular order, they're just a few nice commentary tracks that jumped to mind. Some are informative, some are funny as hell, and some are both. But they're all worthwhile, so if you happen to own these bad boys then crack them out and give it a shot. I can say with almost certainty you'll enjoy most of them.



This is Spinal Tap

This is probably my fave commentary amongst them all, 'cos it features David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest)and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) riffing for an hour and a half, completely in character, and it's almost funnier than the film itself. Almost.
Notable classic lines:
Nigel: Do you still have that castle David?
David: No, I eventually had to sell it. The buyer demolished it and used the stones for a roadway cul de sac.
Derek: A roadway called De Sack?

Classic.


Cannibal, the Musical

I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone, it's OK, but there's much better fare from the boys behind South Park. But it's worth it if you're 15 years old or reeeaaallly drunk. Or baked. Obviously.
However (again you need to be reeeeaaaaaaallly drunk. Or baked.) the DVD commentary actually improves this film, mainly because the participants are themselves, reeeeaaaalllly drunk. And probably baked.
Funny stuff.


Spaced


Admittedly, you do need the 3 disc special edition to get these commentaries, but if you get a chance to watch Spaced with the commentary, go for the US commentaries. With mad guest spots like Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith and Patton Oswalt, they're well worth putting your ear to, because the only person who can outnerd Simon Pegg on film references is Quentin Tarantino, so you can almost hear the nerd bar being raised throughout the commentary. Plus, they're all pretty funny dudes.


Any Robert Rodriguez Film

All of Rodriguez' films have ace commentaries, full of info about the filmaking process and the cast. I would highly recommend listening to the El Mariachi commentary, to learn how to make a film for under $10,000, or From Dusk till Dawn, which is Rodriguez and Tarantino together. Killer gear.


Ross Noble

Ross Noble can talk for hours and hours about nothing. DVD commentaries were invented for people like him. If you ever get bored with the show, just listen to the commentaries for more non-sequiter crazyness. Just don't fall asleep with the commentary on, as you'll wake up to Ross ranting about angry badgers and automatic Hassidic Jews, and you won't know if you're still asleep or awake.


The Late Show

I could watch the Late Show forever, but I love the commentary that comes with this bad boy as well. Clearly put together by Tony Martin (who has definately seen more Directors Commentaries than I have) this is 6 1/2 hours of the full cast reminiscing and talking shit about the horrible 90's fashion. Well worth it.


Jackass

Any of the commentaries for the Jackass (or indeed, any of the the spin-offs Viva La Bam, Wildboyz etc.) movies and TV shows are worth a listen, but the cast commentary on the first movie is probably the best. Self deprecation all round, and every line from Preston Lacy is gold, pure gold.
Notable funny lines:
Bam: Damn dude, look how fucking fat Phil is.
Preston: He's a medium build.


Well, there's my humble suggestions for the best DVD commentaries, so give them a shot.
You just might learn something, but probably not. At least most of them are good for a laugh.
Peace

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Back Once Again....

Yes indeed, Optus finally hooked up my internets, so i'm back with a vengeance.

A kindly gentleman by the name of Mike works on my new apartments insanely old phone connection.

For those new to the blog, there's nothing too revelatory happening over here, i'm just venting on the issues of the day, or attempting to bring obscure gems to light, or just airing my opinion.
Here's a picture book introduction to acheaptrim, as well as the stuff i've been into over the past few weeks.

I like music.

Props to the B-Double and his dad Raymond for the artistical shots of our CDs. Drab, i'mma get at you about getting some stacks on the wall.

I also like movies. Everything from

To

And of course your more artistic fare,

or


My favourite TV shows are

and

and of course


and my favourite book is pretty much anything by


A prize of indeterminate value will go to whoever can tell me who is pictured above.
Peace out for now kids,
Broke.

Friday, May 15, 2009

R.I.P Gramps....


Charles "Bud" Tingwell
03/01/1923 - 15/05/2009

I can't really do justice to the life of this man, so what i'm going to do is link to his own biography and his Wikipedia page, so y'all can read for yourself about this icon of Australian acting.

Among his massively varied career, Bud did everything from Shakespeare to Thunderbirds. His IMDB page lists 146 seperate television and film acting credits, as well as scores of production and writing credits.
By comparison, Christopher Walken (who has acted in at least 3 films or TV shows per year for the last 35 years) only racks up just over 100 credits.
He will be sorely missed. Much respect

IMDB

Wikipedia
Official Website