A few Christmas goodies....

The Star Wars Holiday Special

"The Star Wars Holiday Special was a two-hour television special set in the Star Wars galaxy. It was the first official Star Wars spinoff produced.
In it, Chewbacca and Han Solo visit Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day. Along the way, they are pursued by agents of the Galactic Empire who are searching for rebels on the planet.
The main storyline of the film contains a variety-show segments as well as a cartoon produced by Toronto-based Nelvana that officially introduces the bounty hunter Boba Fett.
The film is notorious for the almost universal hatred it garners from the nerd platoon, or really anyone with any taste. George Lucas had limited involvement with the film's production, and he was understandably unhappy with the outcome."

Cribbed from Wikipedia

This film is shit. But funny as hell after a few drinks, and it's kitch value makes it one of the more bearable Christmas specials.

Click here for the highlights clip




This is 2 hours long, just warning ya.


Biz Markie and Big Daddy Kane - XXXmas Freestyle

Recorded live at Club Uptown, Worcester MA. 1987, this is a classic early Hip Hop routine between 2 of the best to ever pick up the mic. Biz Markie invented the Beatbox (really, he invented it), and spits some tight beats here, but more importantly than the beats themselves is the way he responds to Big Daddy Kane's rhymes, which is the sign of a truly great beatbox. Just like a great drummer, it's about more than creating a metronome beat for an MC to rhyme on, it's about reacting and responding to highlight the flow of the MC. And very few can fuck with Big Daddy Kane on the Move the Crowd tip.



Jason Alexander and the Aristocrats

To close it out, if you haven't seen the Aristocrats yet, get to it ASAP. It's unrated (meaning it's too filthy to get a rating from the OFLC) so be prepared to hear the dirtiest language you've ever heard, but it is hilariously funny. It's worth buying or renting just to hear Kevin Pollack do his famous Christopher Walken impression.
For now, here's Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame riffing for 5 minutes or so on the infamous Aristocrats joke.

"Never open with that....". Classic.

Christmas wrap up

Well, the festive season is done for another year, and an interesting question was raised by my buddy Piers, AKA Dancing at the speed of Light (futhermore known as DATSOL). He pointed out the distinct lack of Christmas decorations on the streets and in the stores this year. Think about it, there were no stupid wreaths hanging from lamp posts, no giant red and green baubles that are inevitably smashed by rambunctious youths, the most you got was some tinny christmas carols in Coles (I would love to splice into the Coles music system and play Tornts for a day through every Coles in Melbourne, no food would be bought but 600,000 Melbourne Bitter longnecks would be sold, and a lot of fights would ensue).



As you can see, in my street it might as well be Ramadan for all the decorations that are out.
I even saw a busker in the Bourke street mall 2 days before Christmas WHO WAS NOT WEARING A SANTA HAT. I gave him no candy for his lack of effort.
He could play a mean pan-pipe, but come on homie, the santa hat is what makes it. Totally serious look, full Andes peasant get-up, playing "Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet" like Gheorghe Zamfir (step your Pan Flute game up y'all) with a Santa Hat on. Now that's comedy.
But I digress...
Could this lack of christmas cheer be an unexpected cutback made necessary by the massive economic downturn of the past few months? Or is it a bid to acknowledge the growing secular nature of Australia, and attempt to avoid shoving a Christian holiday down the throat of what is quickly becoming a non-christian public?
Or does nobody really care about Christmas any more?
Has it got to the point where even the vendors and local councils of this country are doing that thing your mother does where she makes no effort for Christmas or her birthday, and when someone points it out, she says "Well, noone esle was willing to put in any effort, so I got tired of doing everything" (damn that stings).
If that is the case, that's pretty slack on our part. I can't think of anyone ever who has thanked a local council for putting up decorations, in fact most people complain about them going up too early, if they're even mentioned at all.
Well now you all see what your barberous letters to the local paper have done. We get nothing for the festive season, and it's what we deserve. We made no effort, so why should anyone else. Until people decide to grow a giant plum pudding out the front of their house, or something of equivalent nature, then we should live in holiday exile, with no retail staff dressed up as Santa's elves, and no baubles for the youth to destroy.
So to bring back the Christmas Cheer, here's the Yo Yo Yo Kids, with "presents".
Dance along with the Snowman and reindeer, it's the only time of year you can.


~Broke

And a Happy New Year...

Merry Christmas y'all.
Now blaze that good shit up!