Take Control

If you're not down with CTRL.ALT.SHIFT, what are you reading instead?
CTRL.ALT.SHIFT is a UK-based experimental youth initiative which aims to combat disengagement with global issues amongst young people. It is a community for passionate and outspoken individuals who are joined in the fight against injustice and poverty (Wikipedia).
Basically, it's The Youth Of Today giving the inside scoop on the important issues (i'm nearly too old to call myself a youth any more, I dunno if 25 year olds count as part of The Youth Of Today. Maybe i'm the Youth of Yesterday).
Sweet layout to the site, and mad interesting articles from young guns all over the world make for a highly interesting read all round.
I'd highly recommend the current piece on corrective rape in Africa (I never thought the words corrective rape would come up on this blog). I won't lie, the articles pretty heavy, but well worth the read.
Get involved kids.
Peace y'all...

Making a point......

I've been slack on my gig attendance lately. I used to go to heaps of gigs, but i've only been to one or two this year, and they weren't really standouts so i've backed off from the party rocking lately. I did go to Necro, but I don't really remember it, so it doesn't count. I mean, I was in attendance, but there's no way I could tell you how it was. Damn, that was a good friday night though.
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is firstly because next week i'm out to see Dennis Coles aka Tony Starks aka The Ironman aka Sun God aka GHOSTFACE KILLAH, so i'm getting hyped to head out for that.
Secondly, i've been having a discussion with my buddy Jacko about the defining hip hop move, the point. There is no better way to signify, or to garner more crowd response than The Point.
For all you slow mother funkers, let me break it down.
Firstly, if you are a hip hop artist, there is very little you can do on stage, as DJing doesn't really lend itself to Jagger-esque stage moves (although i'd love to see Qbert rocking the naughty schoolboy at his next gig), and if you're a true MC you're much to involved in spitting with the quickness to be leaping all over the stage. That type of shit will leave you out of breath.
So what can a Nilla do to get noticed? You're left with the tried and true option for punctuating your dope verses, The Point.
Here is Ant from Atmosphere highlighting the basic "Point to crowd to punctuate a dope punch line" move, a must for any burgeoning MC who wants people to take him seriously.
Thankyou Slug, nice finger placement and a good strong wrist, that'll have the white boys in the front row nodding in agreement in no time.

Secondly, if you have an exceptionally long line, say the last 4 bars of your verse are one sentence, and you decide that they should be spat in one breath. The only way to highlight your exceptional lung capacity is MC stage move number 2, the "slowly raise hand while spitting and Point to sky on last bar" point.
Brother Ali highlights the importance of extending one finger to further solidify the fact you're pointing at the sky.

Now, these two moves should give you a good feel for basic MC stagecraft, but what if you're in the crowd I hear you ask... what then? Well, since everyone knows that if you are a white male, you have to be gay to dance. Seriously, you cannot be a straight white man, and be able to dance. Sorry, but it's true. So here's the perfect option for you, my 'nilla friend. Just fall back on the tried and true crowd move, The Agreement Point.
Firstly, if anyone (repeat ANYONE) is taking a photo in your general direction, you MUST point at the camera. There is no reason for you not to do this, it MUST be done, and done continually. This shows that you are in control of the situation, and you are in agreement with the photographer when it comes to the question of taking a photo of you.
Example:
Note the white boy front and centre who has decided a little late to do The Agreement Point to camera and has ended up looking a little au fait.


Secondly, the front row is the perfect option for a Point to stage to salute your favourite artist. Again, since I assume most of my audience is made up of white boys, we all know that any self repecting white hip hopper can't be showing too much emotion around other dudes, so instead of screaming like a 12 year old girl, you can just nod your head and give the Agreement Point to whichever artist is currently garnering your approval.
See below for an example of some excellent front row Point and Nod.
Note the single arm reaching out for Z-Trip, as well as the standard 1 finger Point on the far right of the photo.


But don't be too hasty to just throw a Point out willy nilly, if someone catches you in a sloppy Point and Nod you'll have to live with the shame forever.
Poor form buddy, this is a sloppy Point and Nod. You've got the whole thing ass backwards. You're basically poking yourself in the eye there bro. Lift your game.

So there you have it kids, a primer for those who don't know the appropriate way to show respect to a hip hop artist. And please, make sure you Point and Nod to your favourite artists as much as possible, as i've noticed that the Point and Nod is dying out and being replaced by its technological counterpart, the Iphone point.


Cool, but not as respectful.
Peace y'all.

Chillin' out, maxing.....

...relaxing all cool.

Carradine, we hardly knew ye....

So I was going to eulogise (word to the motherfucking thesaurus, bitches) David Carradine when i first heard that he had died, I figured a few Youtube clips of classic Carradine work and a link to his IMDB would do for the man.
Boy, was I wrong.
Now it appears the guy died in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room, possibly while engaging in a little auto erotic asphyxiation (insert INXS/Michael Hutchence gag here).
Now, I could be crass and make a bunch of "choking one off" style jokes, and there's a few in the reserve tank, so don't worry. If things get too serious, we can fall back on that classic vein of humour.
But I want to hit on a different issue for a moment, as i'm sure the breakfast radio shows have me covered for crass humour. I want to point out how rad this death is. Not the death itself, that's a tragic loss of a fantastic character actor. But let's be real, Carradine was old, and there's a lot worse ways to go than in a Bangkok hotel, apparently involved in a sex act, at 72 years of age.
For example, we may very soon be seeing this gravestone...

Again, no disrespect to Swayze, but it's not the best capper to an awesome life. However, something like this......

Is quite fitting in a way.
Carradine, we salute you.

The best of David Carradine (that I could find on Youtube)

David the Bullet Dodger.

...'cos he dodges bullets.


Carradine V Stallone

'nuff said.

Carradine on Superman

He's right, we are weak.

Enjoy kiddies.
Peace

Slow as a wet week....

I know, i've been slack and shit this week. My head is still recovering from last friday, and i've been rewatching The Wire. Guaranteed to keep you distracted. But I promise the long weekend will be filled with cheap goodness.
In the meantime, here's the Reservoir Muppets to keep you entertained.

Peace.

Drunken Texting

If i'm bored, i'll waste time on any number of websites, but one of my favourites is mydrunktexts.com
So in the spirit of that website, here's a sampling of my extremely drunken texts from friday night.
(Luckily, I was out of credit so none of my friends actually received these texts)

03:19am I might call my first album "Eskimo Breast Milk".
03:24am Blank message sent to Tasha' work phone number
03:30am Chilling out dr
(clearly I thought that was enough explanation anyone needed)
03:45am Send a fax like a boss....
(sent to 4 different people)
07:44am Spaced = Greatest comedown show ever.

This is why I don't ususally have credit.

Little green men and human lab rats

There's been a story floating around for a while now, i first picked it up on Crikey but it's been reported in a few places since then about how a SF lawyer has filed suit against the CIA and the US Army on behalf of the Vietnam Veterans of America and six former American soldiers who claim they are survivors of classified government tests conducted at the Army's Edgewood Arsenal in Maryland . These tests, happening between between 1950 and 1975 involved all sorts of chemical mayhem, including but not limited to VX, tabun, soman, sarin, cyanide, LSD, PCP, and World War I-era blister agents like phosgene and mustard.
US Soldier before and after classified tests

This lawyer, Gordon Erspamer, alleges that almost 8000 soldiers were used as lab rats for these unhinged experinments after "Suddenly, they stopped using civilian subjects and said, 'Oh, we can get these military guys for free. The government could do whatever it wanted to them without liability."
Don't get me wrong, this type of shit is not kosher at all, and we here at the Trim in no way support this type of behaviour on anyones part, least of all government agents. There's no way they know how to throw a good party, what are they doing giving away LSD?
However, I want to focus in on one particular piece in this article, about the Vietnam veteran Frank Rochelle.
To summarise, Frank is 20, in the army, and sees a notice for the Edgewood program. it promises "relief from guard duty, the freedom to wear civilian clothes, three-day weekends, and, upon completion, and a medal of commendation". All he had to do was cop some chemicals. Dude signs the secrecy and liability papers, and then proceeds to catch 3 rounds of "nonlethal incapacitating agents like DHMP and glycolate, both of which act as sedatives that produce hallucinations".
Again, couldn't imagine a worse place to be than with government agents while really high. Possibly in jail, but that would be about it.
According to Erspamer's complaint, "Over the next two to three days, Frank was hallucinating and high: he thought he was three feet tall, saw animals on the walls, thought he was being pursued by a 6-foot-tall white rabbit, heard people calling his name, thought that all his freckles were bugs under his skin, and used a razor to try to cut these bugs out. No one from the clinical staff intervened on his behalf".

Now, i'll be honest. I'm no stranger to some of these chemicals myself. I've never touched any WW1 blistering agents, but to quote Jackson, i've had a visionary experience or two in my time. I've never thought my freckles were bugs, but apparently thats par for the course with ice addicts, and I can see how someone would eventually make a connection like that if they were mad high all the time.
Now, i'm betting that Frank was in no way expecting to feel like he was 3 feet tall, or to see a 6 foot tall white rabbit, and that's inherently where the problem is. If Frank had been fully informed prior to taking these crazy chemicals, he probably would have had a great trip. Instead, he ended up with something like this...
"Frank, meet Frank. He'll be stalking you for the next 72 hours..."

Now, if Frank had been allowed to chill in front of the TV with his buddies and watch Bee Movie (trust me, it's the bomb) he would have laughed his arse off and enjoyed the animals coming out of the wall. Instead, he was with some CIA Squaresville chumps, subjecting him to a battery of nasty tests, and ruining his high. who wants to be out of your skull, and have someone taking readings and questioning you? That type of shit would be scary enough if you were totally sober, so i'm not getting at Frank for cracking under the pressure, that can happen to the best of us, and probably would.
My point is simply that all "mind expanding" drugs are totally reliant on your surroundings to define what kind of trip you have, and a government testing facility is no place for a person to trip balls. It just isn't. I
The lesson here, the government still has no idea about why people take drugs, and also, you can't learn about Acid from tests.
Also, anything or anyone that has anything to do with the government will totally blow your high.
Peace