****Closed for Renovations*****

I shall return, this blog will be reintroduced after a few minor changes and maybe a shift in the roster.
Peace kids.

Take Control

If you're not down with CTRL.ALT.SHIFT, what are you reading instead?
CTRL.ALT.SHIFT is a UK-based experimental youth initiative which aims to combat disengagement with global issues amongst young people. It is a community for passionate and outspoken individuals who are joined in the fight against injustice and poverty (Wikipedia).
Basically, it's The Youth Of Today giving the inside scoop on the important issues (i'm nearly too old to call myself a youth any more, I dunno if 25 year olds count as part of The Youth Of Today. Maybe i'm the Youth of Yesterday).
Sweet layout to the site, and mad interesting articles from young guns all over the world make for a highly interesting read all round.
I'd highly recommend the current piece on corrective rape in Africa (I never thought the words corrective rape would come up on this blog). I won't lie, the articles pretty heavy, but well worth the read.
Get involved kids.
Peace y'all...

Making a point......

I've been slack on my gig attendance lately. I used to go to heaps of gigs, but i've only been to one or two this year, and they weren't really standouts so i've backed off from the party rocking lately. I did go to Necro, but I don't really remember it, so it doesn't count. I mean, I was in attendance, but there's no way I could tell you how it was. Damn, that was a good friday night though.
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is firstly because next week i'm out to see Dennis Coles aka Tony Starks aka The Ironman aka Sun God aka GHOSTFACE KILLAH, so i'm getting hyped to head out for that.
Secondly, i've been having a discussion with my buddy Jacko about the defining hip hop move, the point. There is no better way to signify, or to garner more crowd response than The Point.
For all you slow mother funkers, let me break it down.
Firstly, if you are a hip hop artist, there is very little you can do on stage, as DJing doesn't really lend itself to Jagger-esque stage moves (although i'd love to see Qbert rocking the naughty schoolboy at his next gig), and if you're a true MC you're much to involved in spitting with the quickness to be leaping all over the stage. That type of shit will leave you out of breath.
So what can a Nilla do to get noticed? You're left with the tried and true option for punctuating your dope verses, The Point.
Here is Ant from Atmosphere highlighting the basic "Point to crowd to punctuate a dope punch line" move, a must for any burgeoning MC who wants people to take him seriously.
Thankyou Slug, nice finger placement and a good strong wrist, that'll have the white boys in the front row nodding in agreement in no time.

Secondly, if you have an exceptionally long line, say the last 4 bars of your verse are one sentence, and you decide that they should be spat in one breath. The only way to highlight your exceptional lung capacity is MC stage move number 2, the "slowly raise hand while spitting and Point to sky on last bar" point.
Brother Ali highlights the importance of extending one finger to further solidify the fact you're pointing at the sky.

Now, these two moves should give you a good feel for basic MC stagecraft, but what if you're in the crowd I hear you ask... what then? Well, since everyone knows that if you are a white male, you have to be gay to dance. Seriously, you cannot be a straight white man, and be able to dance. Sorry, but it's true. So here's the perfect option for you, my 'nilla friend. Just fall back on the tried and true crowd move, The Agreement Point.
Firstly, if anyone (repeat ANYONE) is taking a photo in your general direction, you MUST point at the camera. There is no reason for you not to do this, it MUST be done, and done continually. This shows that you are in control of the situation, and you are in agreement with the photographer when it comes to the question of taking a photo of you.
Example:
Note the white boy front and centre who has decided a little late to do The Agreement Point to camera and has ended up looking a little au fait.


Secondly, the front row is the perfect option for a Point to stage to salute your favourite artist. Again, since I assume most of my audience is made up of white boys, we all know that any self repecting white hip hopper can't be showing too much emotion around other dudes, so instead of screaming like a 12 year old girl, you can just nod your head and give the Agreement Point to whichever artist is currently garnering your approval.
See below for an example of some excellent front row Point and Nod.
Note the single arm reaching out for Z-Trip, as well as the standard 1 finger Point on the far right of the photo.


But don't be too hasty to just throw a Point out willy nilly, if someone catches you in a sloppy Point and Nod you'll have to live with the shame forever.
Poor form buddy, this is a sloppy Point and Nod. You've got the whole thing ass backwards. You're basically poking yourself in the eye there bro. Lift your game.

So there you have it kids, a primer for those who don't know the appropriate way to show respect to a hip hop artist. And please, make sure you Point and Nod to your favourite artists as much as possible, as i've noticed that the Point and Nod is dying out and being replaced by its technological counterpart, the Iphone point.


Cool, but not as respectful.
Peace y'all.

Chillin' out, maxing.....

...relaxing all cool.

Carradine, we hardly knew ye....

So I was going to eulogise (word to the motherfucking thesaurus, bitches) David Carradine when i first heard that he had died, I figured a few Youtube clips of classic Carradine work and a link to his IMDB would do for the man.
Boy, was I wrong.
Now it appears the guy died in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room, possibly while engaging in a little auto erotic asphyxiation (insert INXS/Michael Hutchence gag here).
Now, I could be crass and make a bunch of "choking one off" style jokes, and there's a few in the reserve tank, so don't worry. If things get too serious, we can fall back on that classic vein of humour.
But I want to hit on a different issue for a moment, as i'm sure the breakfast radio shows have me covered for crass humour. I want to point out how rad this death is. Not the death itself, that's a tragic loss of a fantastic character actor. But let's be real, Carradine was old, and there's a lot worse ways to go than in a Bangkok hotel, apparently involved in a sex act, at 72 years of age.
For example, we may very soon be seeing this gravestone...

Again, no disrespect to Swayze, but it's not the best capper to an awesome life. However, something like this......

Is quite fitting in a way.
Carradine, we salute you.

The best of David Carradine (that I could find on Youtube)

David the Bullet Dodger.

...'cos he dodges bullets.


Carradine V Stallone

'nuff said.

Carradine on Superman

He's right, we are weak.

Enjoy kiddies.
Peace

Slow as a wet week....

I know, i've been slack and shit this week. My head is still recovering from last friday, and i've been rewatching The Wire. Guaranteed to keep you distracted. But I promise the long weekend will be filled with cheap goodness.
In the meantime, here's the Reservoir Muppets to keep you entertained.

Peace.

Drunken Texting

If i'm bored, i'll waste time on any number of websites, but one of my favourites is mydrunktexts.com
So in the spirit of that website, here's a sampling of my extremely drunken texts from friday night.
(Luckily, I was out of credit so none of my friends actually received these texts)

03:19am I might call my first album "Eskimo Breast Milk".
03:24am Blank message sent to Tasha' work phone number
03:30am Chilling out dr
(clearly I thought that was enough explanation anyone needed)
03:45am Send a fax like a boss....
(sent to 4 different people)
07:44am Spaced = Greatest comedown show ever.

This is why I don't ususally have credit.